Switching Genres: Doctor Who Meets Cthulu

Posting Location: Somewhere in the UK
Posting Category: Personals – Strictly Platonic
Prose type: Very literary, allusions to Peter Pan, King Arthur, Shakespeare, etc.
Word count: 431

Sample of Responses:

Mr. Enchanted:
“Your words have enchanted me.

So here I am, wanting to know about you, such a lovely worded and crafted posting, so much attention to detail, slight revealing, but yet so guarded as to your purpose, dream, wishes and desires.”

Mr. Golf:
“I gained such intriguing thoughts when reading your craigslist post. Too many times have I just clicked through post after post of small sentenced posts that give little to the imagination.”

Mr. Farmer:
“What an amusingly different personal advert.”

So it was fairly amusing for me to receive this response:  Read more

Thirteen Ways…

I’m not sure what the scoreboard is anymore. The exchanges have become too many, too prolific, too many one-liners. They have also become incestuous. I am writing them about each other, so there is some rivalry going on–at least for Seabiscuit and Njal.

Seabiscuit, I would say, is still in the lead. He has shared two photographs that have inspired me to write poems about the beauty in the photos themselves. And he has inspired 4 ghazals now. I am very proud of the poems I’ve written that are inspired by his presence in my life. They are my best, I know it. We still have yet to meet. His weekends are busy for the next two weeks, so the wait continues…

Njal (thought maybe Don Juan would be a better name at this point) still writes some sexy, erotic poetry. I don’t think I will find anyone who can write better erotic poetry than he can.  Somebody get a hose–I’m on fire! There is some strange magnetic force between us, some dangerous attraction crossing a Translatlantic cable and the entire continental US to reach me. It’s probably for the best we’ve got an ocean of separation; the two of us together might be a destructive fiery force upon the world indeed.

Lord Byron, still trailing third. He write more slowly, but thoughtfully. I’m perfectly charmed by his Britishness. I also laughed when I read he’s enjoyed a few erotic adventures spanking younger ladies. He has shared his photograph; he is the most dignified, dashing, handsome older looking British gentleman you can picture, and picturing him spanking some young women in a BDSM dungeon in London greatly amuses me.

Learning of Lord Byron’s kink produced conversations with the other two about kinks, and whew! What a Thursday morning this was. Never thought I’d hear my name in the phrase “a Felicitas sandwich” in reference to a proposed threesome between me, Njal and Seabiscuit–and both men seemed to be really into it.

My life has taken a very interesting turn of events, indeed. I’ve gone from a history of rejection and neglect to multiple men wanting me at once. I am not used to so much attention. As Njal put it, “Always the bridesmaid, never the bride, eh? Well, Cinderella, your time has come.”

The Seabiscuit of San Francisco

Having hidden in the background for so long, at last he has finally made his opening to the forefront. That stud, that stallion pacing so softly but steadily, has raced his way to the head of the pack and is ahead by so far that it’s hard to imagine there could be an upset at this point. It should be an easy win, for the closest competitor is behind by a few leagues.

Seabiscuit has clinched the number one spot in the race. The score is 79, now 80, and Lord Byron, the most promising of the recent horses to join the race, is still at 12. However, Lord Byron did this morning send his completed manuscript of a novel that, while he had a literary agent, never found a publisher, so that ought to boost up his stats a few compared to the other leaders left on the scoreboard. I am looking forward to reading his work and laughed out loud once, just upon the first page. He sent it to me to keep me entertained while he is off to London for a week regarding a new publication of his (not the novel) and won’t be online.

I wrote a poem on the bus ride home today. I titled it, “San Francisco” and recorded it when I got home. I emailed the poem to both Seabiscuit and Lord Byron. I asked Seabiscuit if he would want me to send the recording over as well, as he did very much enjoy my voice before when reading his poem. He responded quite quickly; of course he did.

There is something wonderfully attractive and alluring to have someone enjoy my voice so much. He has been quite playful in his language back to me. I do believe we call this “flirting”. Still, I think both of us might be hesitant to go too far. We’ve had some lovely exchanges in the course of a month, and I’ve felt very comfortable talking to him more than to all the others. We’ve discussed a lot more variety of subjects than I have with others from Craigslist: race and racism, politeness in restaurants, others on Craigslist, and ourselves.

I was very touched by his thoughts on race and racism in his email to me this afternoon, responding to the thoughts on that topic I had written to him. It was a very thoughtful recognition of being a white male. (It could not have been any more different than Patrick’s email where his logic boiled down to “I have black and Asian friends and dated a Mexican girl once so can’t be racist.”) It was very understanding and acknowledging the issues that he is blind to by his own privilege as a white male. I appreciated the sincerity of it. I have found it is hard to talk to someone on the other side when it comes to race; hell, I even have moments where I raise an eyebrow to something my own mother says, realizing she has no idea what challenges her children face by only being half-white, and only one of us (not I!) passes for white.

Could this be going somewhere, besides circles in my head? I am very curious to hear his voice too. How attractive would it be? Would I find his voice as alluring as he finds mine, and hear that call of the Sirens in it? Would there be whispered words exchanged by phone?

I have been wondering and entertaining the thought for a while now of doing recordings and including them here, short podcasts of a kind, whether tales from Craigslist or reading my own poetry. But what is the proper length of a podcast? Can it be the mere introduction and reading of a poem? “San Francisco” is only about 30 seconds on its own. Would people listen to a podcast series that was only poems read aloud? Seabiscuit is all for it and says he would certainly listen to any podcast of Craigslist stories so that I can prove there are real women on Craigslist (ha!), and I’m sure he would as eagerly listen to only poetry too-whatever the Siren of San Francisco reads across the waves.

Thoughts on a Don Juan named Seabiscuit

I went back through my exchange with Seabiscuit, rereading every email he sent. I think there was some romantic interest that I failed to pick up on. I find it terribly amusing that I missed it. How did I miss it?

I think perhaps I was always so focused on the others in the lead that I missed the underdog of the pack making his steady gains on his competitors who fizzled out in the first few laps.

Also, I realized that I may have misinterpreted one of his lines early on which led to my missing the signs later. He wrote he found a girlfriend on Craigslist–and I took that to mean he was currently with someone. I wonder now if he might have meant he found one previously through CL but that they were no longer dating. That would make a difference now, wouldn’t it? But I assumed he was with said girlfriend and approached our emails as just a friendly getting to know each other exchange, with no hopes or expectations beyond friendship.

While he is a photographer mostly, he does have some nice lines in his prose. He asked me to write him a poem a few weeks back, and I brushed it aside as friendly banter–is it as significant of a request as it feels it might be?

I have shared with Seabiscuit the many haiku I have exchanged with others. He has enjoyed them very much and always lets me know which lines he likes best. But it feels too late to write a haiku for him. Another form of poetry seems to be required.

But what shall I write, and what form shall it take? Sestina? Ghazal? Pantoum? Free verse?

It is a fine line to tread now. I like him–I like having a friend who writes back and enjoys my writing. Does a poem risk it all?

Craiglist email exchanges (my top 10)

How much do I write when I do find someone I find engaging? Quite a bit. It is all the more disappointing when the exchange stops. Here are the top ten of the men I have exhanged the most emails with (# of emails exchanged in parentheses):

1. Patrick (66) – that 60-year old who might have been in my graces still if he would have just apologized for not telling me that photo was 14+ years old, he resurfaced to wish me a happy birthday but still was his unrepenting self.  Last email received July 10, 2016. 

2. Seabiscuit (56) – is the only man left who still writes me back and the one who sends beautiful photographs. Shortly after I had given up on him, he wrote me: he had a particularly busy and bad week at work (I can relate). He responded not to my usual Craigslist ad, but one I posted about how nice it was to meet so many interesting people on CL. Things seem platonic, and I hope we will continue to at least be friends. I would be honored to have his friendship for many years to come. Last email received July 18, 2016 (this morning).

3. Kevin (41) – the Irishman from Wales, an architect or engineer of sorts, was supposed to confirm a date with me for last week and did not. He apologized later when I followed up a week later and said it was no fault of my own that he failed to respond, just busyness at work, but that he does think I sound lovely. He suggested a phone call instead; we will try to schedule one this week–assuming he responds. Last email received July 15, 2016.

4. Glen (31) – appeared in the ad I posted on the eve of my birthday. His writing was very seductive, minus the “sent from my iPhone” signature. But his writing style quickly devolved into a tale of sadness without paragraphs the more personal he got. Then he just stopped responding. I do wonder if perhaps my comment that his exes all sounded batshit crazy, or maybe he drove them all to be that crazy was not taken as humorously as I thought it. Last email received July 13, 2016.

5. Blaise (23) – a divorced Frenchman living in Idaho, he had two cats with Egyptian names. He wasn’t pretty remarkable other than that. Not sure if he stopped responding because I sent a photo, mentioned I broke up with my ex over my email, or something else.  Last email received June 17, 2016.

6. David (19) – ah, David! The one who makes my heart feel a pang of sadness for not exchanging contact information sooner. He will always have a special place in my heart and make me feel that sadness. He was the one whose CL ad I first responded to and who inspired me to write my own, setting off my CL adventures now. I really enjoyed our exchange. Why the hell did I ever doubt I could date a 48 year old? Last email I received June 10, 2016.

7. Sean (17) – the wandering seafarer, a naval architect, with whom I went out twice. No chemistry, I’m afraid, and he’s really into musicals whereas I am not. Last heard from June 19, 2016 (when we went out to a fair together).

8. Chris [Stanford] (16) – a grad student whose idealism made it clear to me that we could not be romantically compatible, I still found him interesting and thought friendship might be a good thing to share. Alas, he never got back to me after the fourth of July weekend. Last email received June 30, 2016.

9. Chris [Mumford] (15) – oh! The other one who makes my heart ache with regret in not exchanging contact info sooner. I found our exchanges as meaningful as the original one I had with David. No idea what made him vanish forever into the abyss, but I panicked when the CL relay service said my messages could not go through. I was greatly saddened. Last email received June 2, 2016.

10. Christopher [Woodelf] (12) – provided the flirtiest and most hilarious exhanges of them all. Sadly it all ended when I mentioned GoT, to which he responded: “you lost me forever with your Jon Snow statement. It’s an outrage.” His photo did remind me of a fat woodelf (Bosmer) from The Elder Scrolls, hence his appended title to help me disinguish all the Christophers. C’est la vie. Last email received July 6, 2016.

Seeking a friend across the Pond

Mostly disappointed with the results of Craigslist so far, I have wondered if posting further out might help. I see the same boring, horrifying M4W ads on Craigslist in the Bay Area and am not impressed. With the exception of the first CL ad I ever responded to since this adventure began, I have found I can hardly expect any replies from the select few I have responded to.

If I cannot be in a romantic relationship, perhaps I should try more earnestly to find friends–and what better way to set expectations to that level than posting to CL in the UK?

I would not expect a long term relationship out of such a great distance, nor would I want one. I have been in long-distance relationships in the past, and even a neighboring state is too far away.
I haven’t posted yet, for I am still putting the finishing touches on my prose. I want to set the expectations clearly, and I need to decide on a clever title. Depending on what happens, maybe I will post in other countries too. Why not have a few penpals to make it feel as if a friend is not so far away, wherever I go?

I have been browsing a bit, after all one must learn one’s audience first to succeed, and the types of posts is certainly different from this area. There are more interesting posts, and the writing quality and style appears to be much higher than here.

The sea of dick pics is also overflowing, but I suppose that should be expected. It wouldn’t be Craigslist without those, now would it?