So how do you end a night like that?

With voodoo!

Before I headed back, I came across a place called Voodoo Doughnuts.

Voodoo Doughnuts: because doughnuts shouldn't be just bad for you, but for someone else

Jesus, they had so many. A number of them decorated as not your typical doughnut: a voodoo doll, cock and balls, a unicorn. They also had weird flavors mixed with the normal: grape (I would have tried it if that purple doughnut had been blueberry. But grape? No way!), doughnuts covered in fruit loops (wtf?), and some giant, special doughnut that had a diameter of 6 inches or so (what is this, family-sized doughnuts?)

I asked the cashier what was popular, but the noise of the place and her mumbling made it impossible to hear. I decided to order one each of the caramel apple and maple bacon.

The cashier looked high as fuck and uninterested during our entire interaction. She paused in the middle of grabbing a doughnut and forgot my order. I got my doughnuts to go and headed back to the hotel.
I didn’t get back until 1:30am. Doughnut time.

The scene of the crime begins here.

They got a little roughed up in transit, but otherwise made the journey safely.

I tried a little of both. I was not expecting the cooked apple in the caramel apple one; it was the kind of filling you might get in a Mexican empanada. Good, but surprising. Felt like it could have been more impressive somehow.

The Maple bacon was good, but some bits of the bacon were completely inedible, almost felt like gristle and would not break down. It certainly made the rest of the bacon unappetizing–and that defeats the purpose of bacon, doesn’t it?

I was incredibly thirsty and filled the room’s ice bucket to have a few cool glasses of water before bed.

By the time I unwound, did a little writing, it was 2am. The conference I was attending started in 7 hours. Definitely was time for bed–and to not think about what I might be sleeping on.

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